Donor Family Letter (A lengthy post)
As I mentioned in my last post we found out through my transplant coordinators, last week that the family of my heart donor made contact with us through a written letter. On Monday afternoon we received this letter which was little over 4 pages in length and written by the mother of this young man.. It is obvious that she was very proud of her son and had every right to be. Here are a few things about this young man that we learned. He was 23 and 6 ft 3 inches. He graduated in December of 2006 from a small university with BS in Biology. He has been the only undergraduate in the history of the school to have ever been published. For over 3 years he had been working on an interactive data based program which would be used by neuroscientist as a teaching tool, to help people that have Alzheimer’s and Autism. He was working and researching to help find a cure for the diseases that affect the brain His work has been published on the web and we were told that is has had over 10,000 hits from different teaching hospitals, neuroscientists and medical research hospital. And in April (a month before his death) his site had been visited by 31 different countries and 40 states. He had been contacted and was ready to begin graduate school in August to get his PhD in neuroscience. He had been chosen 1 of 6 internationally to do this.There was a International Neuroscience Convention with over 12,000 scientist in attendance, sometime after his death is which his picture was put on a jumbo screen and was talked about concerning his contributions to science and the benefits it would give thousands for years to come. (All of what I have just written about has come directly from this letter from his mother). She mentioned that before his death that 2 of his goals were accomplished and that was he was recognized and a scientist and an author. There are other things she spoke about, his personality and the type of person he was, but I will leave that alone for a while, just to say he wanted to help humanity in any way he could. His mother spoke of a conversation she and her son had regarding organ donation about 2 years ago. She told him that faced with the death of one of her children she did not think she could make that decision or go through with that. But his response was “Mom how could you not? When given the choice how could anyone not chose to help someone in that way”? I would want you to do that for me” (Direct quote from her letter).Finally, and this is in no way to speak or think highly of myself. But of all the organs he donated I have been the only one to send them a letter of thanks and gratitude. And she made mention that I was the one they had hope to hear from most of all, and said the words I wrote kind and gentle…all I can say is praise to the Lord for helping me write these things to her.
One of the frustrating things about the contact between donor and recipient is how sometimes the contact is so impersonal. They do not know my name or where I live just as I do not know where they live or their name of there son’s name. His name was actually whited out in her letter to me. But there are several organizations and hands these types of letter pass through before either one of us get them. An overture has been made to us that they would be glad to sign a waiver for me to have a copy of a DVD that his younger brother put together for his memorial service that we would receive if we wanted. Just to get a fuller picture of the life this young man. I have not decided what to do. I do plan on writing this family again in a couple months. What I have shared is only a small part of her letter to me, but in writing these things I wanted you to know and get a sense of how this young man wanted to help people whether in research or in organ donation. He wanted to be a benefit to people, through his giving of himself.
In closing; some thoughts. This has been a lot for my family and me to take in this week. And have tried to keep a spiritual balance on this. One of the things that impressed me is of this “giving spirit” this young man had, and his desire to help “humanity”. I do not know this young man’s spiritual state, nor was anything mentioned in the letter to me except that “to continue to remember them in prayers as they were praying for us.” With that said this whole experience has shown me to give, to help people. Whether it’s with our money, our time, our talents, or sending a note to someone who is hurting, or whatever the challenge is to give, give give. After all was that not the example of Christ? He gave of himself to help the weary and sick, to dwell among sinners bringing them the message of the cross and the need to be born again. The spirit of giving is what has most convicted me, to go outside our comfort zones to help those around us in need and to set before them the example of Christ and to be more of a witness to them. Yes we can make a difference through the power of the Holy Spirit to this lost and dying world. We need to think outside the “box”, and be creative in the way we give ourselves in love and compassion to this world.The last thing that I have been challenged with is that whether we are a scientist, a teacher, a wife, mother, a pastor, a worker in a office, or whatever our calling we do it…. we work to the glory of God. This should be something we desire to do anyway in seeing the gift….. the giving of the Son of God for our sins. How can we do any less? Let us strive to live as the question is asked “what is the chief end of man” It is the glorify God and to enjoy him forever. Are we doing that? I know this has been a lengthy post but my desire has been for you to get a sense of this young man, and to pray for his family as they continually daily deal with the loss of their son and that maybe as time goes by that through this relationship that has been formed by God’s Providence that he would have testimony to this family and that good can come out of this tragedy. Its sometimes hard not to feel guilty about having the transplant, and to see the type of person I received this gift from, but these are emotions that I think are normal. But I must realize that this was the young man’s wishes, and it was God’s Providence for these events to have taken place. And it is my desire that I would continue to bless and praise the Lord and give him glory for his goodness to me and well as my family, in these difficult events that have taken place in the last several months and to also have deeper heart-felt compassion for those who are hurting.
Blessings to you
Steve
